Before you head on to read this post, I am hosting a FREE 1 Month Virtual Group “Spring-Cleaning” Program.  If you want to check-in on your resolutions, start feeling great for Summer right now, and keep that feeling all year long, you might like to join us.  Click here to learn more.

About 6 years ago, I read a quote on one of my favorite blogger’s sites “summer bodies are made in the winter’ and have heard versions like, ‘summer bodies are made in the kitchen, not in the gym’.   During this time period, my idea of healthy had a heavy focus on food and exercise.  A lot of ‘good vs bad’ foods and feeling like running was the best way to a swim suit.  I don’t know what your personal dialogue with food or body image is or has been, but I think that many of us have had negative experiences although we express it in different ways.

I truly love food.  Beyond the plate, I think it stands for so much more. Like the way it’s engrained into different cultures…you know, ‘breaking bread’.  You can read all about that here.  So when I started my first blog in 2011, it was naturally a food blog.  To be honest, I don’t even remember the name of it, but I took pictures of my most basic stir-fry using Trader Joe’s sauce.  At this point, I was fairly sheltered from the world of KALE.

That blog faded very quickly, but not long after I started my next project ‘On the Side of Nine to Five’. On that blog, I posted about baking, workouts, and life in general, but the emphasis was food – primarily ‘health food’.  I would stage photo shoots with my food using my DSLR and actually make up my own recipes.  I had a dream of writing a cookbook that broke down meal planning for single women.

It kind of seemed like it all fit together. I had been interested in health and wellness for pretty much my whole life. I was actually really fortunate to grow up in a family where activity, time in nature, home cooking, and friendships were really important.  My parents encouraged us to be creative, invited us into the kitchen, and for the most part, didn’t let us have white bread or sugary cereals (I hated them for it then!)

When I was living in Boston my interest in cooking, exercise, and the effects on the body started to come through.  I would spend hours searching recipes online and it’s when I was first introduced to the beauty of massaged kale, and met Holli Thompson for the first time on her website holding a green juice (I actually got to meet Holli many times and call her a friend today, funny how things come full circle), and experimented with new workouts.  At the time, I was short on friends, fulfillment, job satisfaction, financial security, and well-balanced happiness.

So, I did what many people do…I took control of the only things I felt like were within reach.  My healthy lifestyle…or what I thought what was a healthy lifestyle at the time.  While there were elements of my lifestyle that were truly healthy, there was so many things happening in my mind that weren’t…

Feeling like you ‘shouldn’t’ have something is not healthy…
Feeling guilty about eating something is not healthy….
Feeling slightly dizzy before an afternoon snack is not healthy…
Feeling fatigued almost every day is not healthy….
Not sleeping well is not healthy…
Thinking that a food is ‘bad’ is not healthy….
Judging someone else is not healthy…
Being unkind is not healthy…

No matter how many healthy meals I ate, runs I went on, or spin classes I taught, I wasn’t healthy from a 360 perspective.

Deep down I knew that a lot of my behavior and feelings were probably not healthy, and up until recently, I actually would think back to that time and be so hard on myself for having acted this way feeling like it’s not normal.

And therein lies the vicious circle.

It’s exhausting and yet hard to let go of.  How could something that feels so NOT GOOD be so hard to let go of?

Control.  We seek the things that we can control and for many of us, especially women, this is it.

When I went to the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, I learned about amazing dietary theories from leaders in health and wellness.  I discovered new recipes and a new way of looking at food.  But beyond the food, I learned how equally important mental health is, the concept of bio individuality or the fact that what works for me just might not work for you and that’s okay, and how things like relationships, finances, education, and environment are all to the actually food that’s on our plate.

However, our cultural context and conversation doesn’t always promote that.  We read ‘what I ate’ blog posts and try to emulate and look up to what we see as ideally healthy.  But the people who are famous for that get paid to do it…it’s their job!

All of this really made me think about what healthy means.

What does healthy mean, and when did that word almost take on a negative connotation?

While I still have that passion for food and fitness, you’ve probably noticed that I don’t focus on food too heavily on this site anymore.  Food will always be part of my repertoire and you can find it over on the ‘gram. I believe so strongly in the power of good, high quality food to heal and to make you feel fantastic.  I think that the way we’ve been trained to eat and what our government subsidizes is basically deplorable.

Decreasing the focus on food lets me love it even more. 

But I also believe in the occasional delicious burger, slice of pizza, cookies, and glasses of wine. And finally, I make my food choices for ME, not for anyone else, and I don’t expect anyone to make the same choices as me or believe that my choices are better than someone else’s.  What makes me feel good might not make someone else feel good, and learning to embrace that has been pretty awesome and freeing.

So when it comes to feeling GOOD aka HEALTHY like whole heartedly, light you up good, it’s become so much more than food and exercise to me.

It’s why I put together this ‘spring cleaning’ program for the month of April.

What I’ve found for myself is that when I don’t focus on the food part of my health quite so much, when it’s a bit on the backburner, is when I feel my healthiest.

Why?  Because I feel my happiest.

I feel happy laying in bed and writing, reading, and binging on Netflix instead of working out sometimes
I feel AWESOME sleeping until 9 am on Saturday instead of waking up and going for a run
I LOVE eating whatever I want and truly enjoying it
I’m my best when I’m with the people I love, deep in conversation
Cooking is active meditation
I’m less anxious when I have time for myself
I’m calmer when I decrease the amount of things in my schedule
I feel less isolated

So, maybe being sheltered from Kale was actually a good thing?

Getting to this place was NOT easy and some days it’s still a struggle.

Do I still push myself a bit too far sometimes? Do I still look at myself and go UGH? Do I still look for opportunities to be better? Yes, of course.  We are all works in progress

So, just know that you’re not alone.  We’re on this journey together.

Here are 6 ways I learned to embrace my new version of healthy:

Trust Myself

OOF.  This is a tough one.  There’s a sense of fear sometimes that if I ‘let myself go’, I’ll fall off the bandwagon for good.  What’s funny though is that I actually find when I let myself go, the more likely I am to have positive habits, mind, body, and soul in my life.  This means cookies when I really want them, not working out when I don’t want to, etc.  and then I find myself craving the habits that make me feel really great.

Judge Less

I used to judge myself about everything.  I’m not being a good enough friend; I’m not open enough; I don’t like X, Y, Z about my body….I think you get it.

While a process, I am learning to judge myself less, and what I’ve realized, the less I judge myself, the more accepting I am of others and better able to embrace differences rather than find them to be annoying or points of contention.

Perfection is Not Real

Everyone, and I mean everyone strives for something else.  They want to be more, have more, do more you know the drill.  We’re conditioned to desire more, it’s a totally normal human trait.  However, perfection is impossible because the definition of perfection is subjective…in the eye of the beholder if you will.  When we chase perfection, we’re chasing something else, something deeper than what appears on the surface.  Dig a bit deeper to find out what’s really going on for you.  What do you really want?

Stop Comparing Myself to…MYSELF

Sometimes I find myself scrolling through photos of an older version of myself wishing that I had certain pieces of it.  This is a really bad rabbit hole to go down. When I was 22, 24, 26, and even two weeks ago, I was different.  Circumstances were different, my body was different, and my mind was different.  I know that’s a good thing, but change can be hard.  I try to accept where I am at and recognize all of the good that’s here now.

Decrease Digital Interaction with People that Don’t Make Me Feel Good

I follow a lot of wellness bloggers on social media – foodies, fitness peeps, mindfulness, you name it, I follow it.  Sometimes this is super inspiring.  It gives me new ideas and sparks creativity.  But sometimes, I spend HOURS on social media, scrolling wishing I had what they had.  I started unfollowing the people who don’t make me feel good.  It has nothing to do with them. They’re not bad people or anything, there’s just something that doesn’t align.

Mindfulness

Incorporating mindfulness into my day in some way – meditation, yoga, journaling has helped me tune in with what lifts me up and what drains my energy.  Removing the things, people, and events drains my energy and conjure up negative emotions is hard and takes reflection and work but it’s a game changer for finding a bit more calm, stillness, and happiness in my life.

Let me know what you think in the comments below. I’d love to hear some ideas I can add into my practice!