Growing up, I was lucky to be fed great food and live in great, comfortable homes. We went on family vacations, my brothers and I played sports, we went out to dinner, and went back to school shopping. At the same time, we weren’t on the cutting edge of technology, jet setting to far off places, going to private school, and there were times when we didn’t get the things we asked for.
At the time I hated not being able to get all of the things I wanted and asked for, but I think having to wait for the items I circled in the Christmas Wish Book Catalog that came in July instilled a value for money, financial health and stability. Receiving gifts on holidays or even out of the blue always felt really special and appreciated. There was rarely instant gratification – unless it was my favorite pizza pretzel from the rink or our annual back to school shopping trip.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved having my own money. I took a babysitting course when I was just 12 and tried to get as many jobs as possible. Whenever I would babysit, I would tuck my cash into my jewelry box. Let it sit and let it build. Unfortunately, my jewelry box didn’t accrue interest.
As a kid, it felt so good to be able to buy my own ice cream cone at the corner store and rewarding to buy my friends and family birthday and Christmas gifts with my own funds.
When I hit 16, I started working at a video store (yes, we had VHS) and I cleaned hotel rooms at a friend’s local motel. Fortunately, my jobs started to get slightly more ‘glam’ each year and for 3 years I was a bartender, beer cart gal, and waitress at our local country club. I always worked extra hours and additional odd jobs to save up.
As the income increased, so did my spending. I always think of it like packing on a vacation, you always fill a bigger suitcase! While I was conservative, I didn’t quite understand the value of a dollar or how I could make my money grow over time.
I’ve been in modes where I’ve been a super saver like the time I saved for a 10-day European vacation on an entry-level salary living in NYC. During that time every $10 purchase felt like a big deal. But I’ve also had moments where $100 could fly out of my pocket without noticing and times when I’ve splurged a bit more and put very little into my savings account like treating myself to multiple dinners out in a week or buying something out of my normal price range.
Money is a blessing and a curse. It feels great when you have it and pretty awful to feel like you’re the one who can’t afford to do something in a group. What I’ve realized is that both circumstances have their place and feel good when you have control over your finances; when you don’t bare the everyday burden of hoping you have a few extra 0’s in your bank account.
Money is tough though, right? It feels like there’s always something to be spending on. I think it’s hard no matter where you live, but the money spending opportunities in cities are aplenty. It’s like siren’s calling out to you that you MUST have that $6 matcha latte as you walk down the street.
When I take control over my finances, plan and get brutally honest with myself I actually feel really empowered and never deprived no matter how many dollars are in my account.
Financial freedom doesn’t mean making or having a lot of money. It simply means being aware and in control of how the money that you do have is spent. I can tell you from many persona experiences that while money certainly helps, it doesn’t buy joy.
7 Ways to Find Financial Freedom & Feel Empowered
GET CLEAR & BE AWARE
Where did all of your money go? Seriously. Ask yourself and be honest.
Did you spend $1,500 on food and drinks last month? Or $3,000 on new clothes last quarter? It’s totally fine if you did, but to feel empowered you need to know where your money is going so you can make more informed, confident decisions in the future.
I’m always surprised by how much I spend on food & drinks when I’m not being aware – by surprised I mean scared.
To do this, I pull my credit card statement into an excel document and break it down by type of purchase.
Knowing where you spend your money will just serve as a bit of an ah-ha moment. If you’re cool with how you’re spending, then onward! But if crunching the numbers gave you a pit in your stomach, now’s the perfect time to course correct.
Many of us tend to whip out the credit card, swipe, and ‘worry about it later’, but you don’t do this with other parts of your life right? Chances are if you’re in a meeting and trying to impress someone, you’re aware of your actions and how you talk. Spending money should be no different.
There are apps that will do this for you, too, but honestly I kind of like doing it myself.
BUDGET
I know, no fun right? But the truth is without a realistic budget, you’ll never be in control. You’ll always be wondering how much you should or shouldn’t be spending. Or worse, you’ll just say F it what’s another $100?
I sit down with my budget 1x/week. This might be a bit excessive, but it helps me gain clarity and stay on track with my spending. Since I have less income right now, 1x/week is perfect and keeps me from getting anxious, but when I’m making more I’ll usually do 2x/month when I pay bills.
I have a google doc called ‘Get Real Budget’ and I break it down like this:
FIXED INCOME
FIXED EXPENSES (Rent, Student Loan, ClassPass, Laundry, Cell Phone, etc.)
FIXED INCOME – EXPENSES = Disposable Income
Right now, I’m not making enough money to save any extra income, but typically I would break down my disposable income into savings & fun. Some people like to go more nitty gritty and say this much for food and this much for entertainment, but I just give myself a fun budget. This money can be spent on anything from dining out, to travel, gifts, workout classes etc. Once it’s out, it’s out! If there are months or weeks that require more spending, I just dial it back during other times.
I love using sites like Ellevest for inspiration.
SAVE
Even if it’s just a little bit. If your company offers a 401K, do it. Put as much in as you possibly can. I know it might seem like a lot right now that won’t make a difference in the long-run, but one less shirt to save an extra $50-$100 per month can grow over time. For me, it feels so good to get those statements that I have sums of money in an account from when I was 23. If you’re 30 and haven’t started yet, that’s okay! We’re all in different situations and the sooner you start the better. If your company doesn’t offer a 401K option, you can use sites like Vanguard to invest in mutual funds, stocks, or IRAs.
NEXT, put money into a savings account every single month when you can. An auto-debit is even better, so you don’t see the cash! I try to save about 30% of my take home pay every month. Sometimes this is doable and sometimes it isn’t. For months when it’s not, I’ll try to save extra the next month.
Saving has helped me feel empowered in a few ways. The first, I was able to say yes to a few things that I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to do. Second, I know that I always have enough and feel confident going out without worry sitting in my stomach or back of my mind. Third, when I lost my job, I have been able to intentionally seek opportunities that feel authentic and purposeful.
When I’m really looking to save a few key things. It can be hard to go cold turkey though, so pick what would have the biggest impact.
- Cook at home. This is my #1 money saver. Lately, I’ve been having 98% of my meals home-cooked. Sometimes this means bringing a smoothie with me to have in between meetings or packing a salad for travel.
- Cut down on travel. I’m typically out of town quite a bit and love to plan vacations, but when I’m trying to save, I cut back significantly and find fun things to do in NYC.
- STOP SHOPPING / SHOP SALES Chances are you have enough clothes to last you through the season or until you save a little bit. I’ve been trying to get creative and looking out for great sales.
In addition to my savings account & 401K from different jobs, I transfer money into a Vanguard account every few months. This is great because I don’t even look at it. It’s almost like it doesn’t exist…but it does.
PAY DOWN DEBT
Mostly credit card debt. There are many reasons to pay down your debt…credit scores, interest rates, etc. but one of the biggest things for me is peace of mind. It’s hard to feel confident spending or enjoying a dinner out when you know you have a huge amount of money sitting on your credit card.
If it’s not possible to pay it all down, this is where your budget comes back into play. Build paying off your debt into your budget and treat it like any other bill.
We’ve all been there…that dreaded moment of opening up your credit card to see the ‘damage’.
Purchase should not be ‘damages’ they should be memories and have the potential to bring long-term fulfillment not just instant gratification.
USE YOUR MONEY DOING WHAT YOU LOVE & PRIORITIZE
Even when I had a bigger cash flow, I didn’t spend a ton of money buying really nice clothes. I love clothes, love to shop, and love to feel great, but shelling out a lot of money on apparel isn’t really my thing. Don’t get me wrong, I have a few splurge pieces here and there that make me feel really confident and good, but that’s it.
For me, I like to spend my money buying quality food and restaurants, experiences (travel, going out to eat, entertainment), and gifts. That last one might sound weird, but I love spending on others when I can.
If a lot of money spending ‘opportunities’ come up at once, use your get real budget to get real with yourself. Can you afford to do them all or do you need to pick and choose? Then decide which you can eliminate or which one you can save on.
Here’s an example: dinner out with friends, a dress you’ve been eyeing is going on sale, a pot luck dinner, you need new sneakers, and a new fun workout class you’ve been wanting to try out.
I know, these aren’t all necessities…
But here’s what I’d do: dinner with friends non-negotiable but maybe I’d just order an app as my entrée; definitely not missing a pot luck but would hit up Trader Joe’s or make a veggie dish and buy a less expensive bottle of wine; new sneakers because bad sneakers cause injury; that new dress because it’s that new dress; and finally the workout class comes last because I am getting those new sneakers after all!
BE HONEST WITH OTHERS ABOUT WHERE YOU’RE AT
It’s okay to not have a lot of money to spend. I know it’s hard when there’s stigma around it, but when you’re out with friends and stressed if you’re going to split the bill down the middle, you’re probably not as much fun to be around. Just say hey guys, I’m actually going to pay for what I had in cash. Money’s a bit tight right now. I know it feels awkward, but I promise, your friends don’t want you to spend money you don’t have!
DO THINGS YOU LOVE THAT COSTS $0
Fresh air, the beach, friends, a good conversation, a walk in nature, a run outside..FREE FREE FREE!
When I do more things that cost zero dollars, I’m reminded how wonderful keeping it simple can be. Doing less also gives me more space to engage my mind, access my creativity, and learn about new things.
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