12 months.
52 weeks.
365 days.
8760 hours.
525600 minutes.
And here you are, 2019. When it comes to the New Year, it feels almost obligatory to create resolutions, goals or intentions – whatever you want to call them. I wholeheartedly believe that what you give to the world is what you receive and by setting intentions we’re more likely to create what we desire in our lives. And while I’m certainly not opposed to trying to live my life more intentionally, I get a little bit stuck on the idea of resolutions or at least the way we’re hardwired to think of them.
FACT: Not to be a downer, but most people fall off the resolution-wagon by February.
What happens when you don’t achieve a goal you set for yourself?
- You feel like crap. (for lack of a better term)
- You feel like a failure.
- You engage in negative self-talk “why can’t I do anything right”; “why don’t I have any self-control/self-motivation”
Why…when the clock strikes 12:01 on January 1st, do we set ourselves up to feel like this; to create a new, better life; to be a new person. A better person? I think it’s partially what we’re taught and it’s our nature to like being challenged.
Leading up to the New Year, I did something totally RADICAL…just kidding it’s not that radical, but keep reading! Something that I haven’t done in…well, ever. I deleted the Instagram app from my phone and restricted clicking Instagram links from websites. On the first day, I found myself opening the home screen going to my “social” tab only to find the pink Instagram icon nowhere to be found. But by the 3rd day, I was really only using my phone to listen to podcasts and GASP! leaving my phone in my room while I was doing other things.
As I went through my days, I found myself thinking “oh I want to take a photo.” I realized it was almost a subconscious action to think about taking pictures for Instagram. But as the days went on, I less and less thought about taking a photo for Instagram or ‘storying’ what I was doing in that moment. I felt like I had more mental space, could actually watch a movie the entire way through, and focus more on what I was doing.
PRESENCE.
Truly, what a present.
More importantly, I was focusing more on what I WANTED to be doing not what I should be doing based on what others were doing. I could make actions that aligned more closely with my true values not what other people who I ‘follow’ are doing. Including thinking about my intentions for the coming year and fully, presently reflecting on what happened in 2018. So, I started trying to get clarity around what I wanted for the coming year without clouded judgement.
Before I deleted Instagram, I realized that social media and even some of my favorite news sites talked about how we can be better. Sure, we all have improvements we could make or things we would like to be different about our character, but do you really need to be better?
I get it, these types of blog titles titles and email subject lines are aspirational and motivate us to set goals to strive towards in the coming year, which I think is kind of fun. But shouldn’t we be constantly striving to be our best self, and more so, give our best self to the world around us? A fresh start doesn’t have to happen in the morning of a new day, the 1st of a new month, on your birthday, or on New Year’s Day. Life is dynamic – constantly changing and evolving. Just like you. Life is not a stop motion video where we pick and choose where to pick up and leave off. So, I propose that today we resolve to:
- Strive to be good in a way that feels energizing to us.
- To only create resolutions that align with our, true core values.
- Live life in motion, letting change come and go.
- Understand that a fresh start begins in the mind or even a deep breath mid-moment.
- Reflect constantly on the goals and lessons that are shaping our minds and our lives.
- To be gentle and kind with ourselves.
Does this mean you should not set goals and objectives and just hope that good things come your way? No.
What I mean is that they should reflect what you want to see long-term – you should have a deep-rooted why. Let’s use weight loss as an example.
Such a common New Year’s Resolution and an insecurity that media and advertising capitalize on. Instead of thinking of it this way, let’s think of this goal under our new terms. WHY do you want to lose weight?
If your answer is to look better, I feel you. I think we’ve all been there and it’s totally fine if that’s one of your reasons, but beyond that, WHY do you want to lose weight? Do you want to live longer? Do you want to have a healthy heart? Do you want to play with your grandkids until you’re 105?
These deep rooted ‘why’s’ are going to give you so much more fuel to not only achieve this goal, but see results way past 2019. So instead of lose weight, what if our the is to take better care of my body with love and care, so I can live a long healthy life by eating more nutritious food, engaging in positive relationships, loving myself, and taking more time for self-care. That’s just one example of how we can transform our mindset to engage positively with ourselves.
I’m a goal setter. I like seeing where I’m going and how I plan to get there. So, even though I don’t think New Year’s is the ONLY time to reflect, it is a great one. I took a bit of time throughout the month to reflect on the year as a whole, and it was a bit of a doozy! From career disruptions to family stuff, and changes in my home life, there were moments that tested my positivity and perseverance.
One of the big lessons from all of this is that life doesn’t have to appear positive all the time because….it’s not. Life is challenging; it throws curveballs at you when you’re not looking, but hopefully, in hindsight, the curveballs all lead you to home plate with a few extra outs on the way. Beyond those slight disruptions to regularly scheduled life, it was a pretty good year. My health is getting back on track after many years of not feeling right, I have a new job that I love, I’m launching a podcast (YEP! – stay tuned), I nurtured some of my best friendships and made new ones, I traveled, and am feeling more comfortable being myself.
So here are some of my intentions & bucket list items for 2019. Thank you for reading, sharing, and following along. I hope to share even more this coming year.
- “Blessed are those who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing”
- “Be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody.”
- Let go of the past to be more present
- Prioritize the things that make me truly happy, healthy, and alive not the things that ‘should’ or will make others happy.
- Laugh more often.
- Help people who are in need.
- Launch my PODCAST! & other passion projects
- Continue my vision board for the perfect cafe
- Follow my intuition and take opportunities where the outcome is unknown.
There are a lot of actions that I’ll have to take to make these things happen, but I hope by saying or writing them out loud, I am able to pursue them with more intention. Here’s to 2019. May your year be more dynamic, engaging, and purposeful as ever.
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